Peter’s Essay

When my daughter was 4 years old, her doctor heard a faint clicking sound in her heart at a well-child visit. We discovered she had a bicuspid aortic valve and several other heart defects. She is now 20 and has always been asymptomatic and hasn’t yet needed surgery. Because a bicuspid valve is congenital, her cardiologist suggested that I get screened. That was nine years ago. My scan showed a bicuspid aortic valve, an aortic root aneurysm, and an ascending aortic aneurysm. It rocked my world. I envisioned a time bomb inside my chest. With time, research, comforting words from an aneurysm expert, annual exams, and daily meditation, I managed to calm down. Although I was always asymptomatic, in 2019 the aortic root aneurysm reached the point where surgery was recommended, and they would do the valve at the same time. I had a successful open-heart surgery at Massachusetts General Hospital on April 29, 2019.

Although the surgery couldn’t have gone much better, getting mentally prepared for it and recovering from the operation were not always easy. Four weeks before the surgery I endured cycles of confidence and fear. There were things to get in order and medical tests to complete. I connected with friends and family as well as folks who had gone through similar procedures. I posted a brief announcement on Facebook and was overwhelmed with love and support. My wife and family were great, offering an emotional rock to steady myself. The stories of former patients were particularly reassuring, even though some acknowledged the pain after the surgery and the slower-than-expected recovery to pre-surgery stamina. All in all, I was grateful. Nervous, too. Sometimes weepy. But always grateful.

After the surgery, I took comfort in the impermanence of it all. I acknowledged the bright spots even in the first few days. And yet, interspersed were rough times, which I heard would happen. Progress was more evident week to week. Hard moments passed and good ones returned. I appreciated the good times when they were around. I knew it wouldn’t help to cling to the good times or show aversion to the bad. As many former patients had told me: I got this.

By early May, my recovery was mostly going fine. Issues that cropped up in the early weeks eventually resolved on their own. By June my cardiologist said that everything looked great. Pains and other issues that I had just a couple weeks before were gone. All in all, it was amazing to see how the body can heal from such a significant trauma. By late July, my wife and I traveled to England and Norway for a vacation, and it was awesome.

I am so grateful for advances in medicine, skilled surgeons and nurses, meditation and the boundless support of family and friends. Thanks, in particular, to my wife, whose unconditional love gave me strength during the difficult times during recovery. The procedure went well, and I feel stronger than ever.