The Pillow

Elynne

The bypass surgery was scheduled for November 15th. The surgeon told us that Richard was the type of man he worried about because he had no symptoms. That was the most frightening day of my life. My husband was the picture of health as I kissed him good luck and they rolled him into surgery. The next time I saw him in the ICU was a very different scenario. Anyone who has seen a loved one after bypass will understand. I do not think there was one area of his body that did not have tubes in it. He was swollen from the surgery but he had come through it. He had needed a quadruple bypass. The next days in Intensive Care were agonizing.

The patient has one reality of suffering and his loved one has another. Watching my husband go through the agony of this entire ordeal ripped me apart as well. When he was transferred to the cardiac floor, I remained with him in the hospital for the remainder of his stay. I slept on a window seat which doubled as a so-called bed for relatives who wanted to stay overnight. I was determined that I would not walk out the door of that hospital without my husband at my side.

One day a volunteer walked into Richard’s room holding a large red pillow that was shaped as a heart. The wording on the pillow said “Mended Hearts” with a picture of a heart with a jagged line running through it. This organization was made up of men and women who had gone through cardiac surgery. It was necessary for a patient to hold a pillow when coughing in order to control the pain. This pillow offered emotional and empathic support. Months later when Richard was in Rehab and doing quite well, I asked him if he would mind my putting the red pillow away because it did not go with the colors of our den. He looked at me for what seemed a long time and answered that although the color was not coordinated with our decor, that pillow reminded him of what he went through and survived. I never mentioned removing it again.

With profound gratitude, Richard is progressing well. When he retired, the first decision he made was that he wanted to give back to the organization that helped him. He volunteered for the Mended Hearts Program at Northwestern Hospital in Chicago and took the training. He visited cardiac patients at the same hospital he had been in and distributed to them the special pillows while visiting them in their rooms and talking to them from his heart.

The red pillow sits prominently on our couch as a reminder of our infinite good luck and Richard’s determination to live positively, stay well and give back to others.