I Heard a Voice

Daniel

The first thing I heard was a voice that said: “Your surgery is over, can you squeeze my hand?”, and felt a hand squeeze my hand, but try as I might, I could not return the squeeze. The voice and hand left. I was in a fog but remembered that I had undergone open heart surgery for a bad aortic valve. I could not open my eyes or move a muscle. I realized that I must have been given a paralytic that would (and did) eventually wear off. After some period of time I was finally able to open my eyes a bit and could barely make out a dimly lit room. A while later the voice and hand returned, and I was eventually able to return the squeeze. After an hour or two the breathing tube was removed. The anesthetic makes one very thirsty, but nausea can be an issue. I was given some ice chips to suck on but they almost made me throw up. Later on I was given a popsicle, which tasted so good! So started my gradual reawakening and rebirth (so to speak), as I was initially helpless as a baby. Being a bed-ridden patient in a hospital bed along with the physical trauma from the surgery left me feeling like I’d been run over by a truck. The total physical exhaustion after the surgery was pretty daunting; i.e., it was a fatigue unlike any I’d ever known before (or since). Definitely a traumatic experience, both physically and psychologically. It was a rude awakening as my mind and body adjusted and recovered from the surgery, but it got a little better each day. As time goes on it fades from memory, but the scars are still there, and always will be.