Dear Clogged Arteries,

Benjamin

Somewhere along the line, our line of communication collapsed and I let you down. For 45 years, you handled the heavy lifting inside of me. I trusted you. I tried my best to support you with regular exercise, a conscious vegetarian diet, my most effective means of stress management, not smoking, and not drinking heavily. We knew a few years ago that my good cholesterol was on the low side, but I admittedly let things slide by not getting my blood drawn in a good five years to check on you. I’d even maintained my normal weight of 168-172 pounds my entire adult life. So when I weighed myself that fateful day the emergency room, 198 pounds came as a total shock, though I admittedly had my concerns when my 33 waist Levi’s stopped working about 6 months prior. With Covid-19 in play, I didn’t go in and check on you when I should have. I delayed it again and again. And on January 17th 2021, you let me know—in your own peculiar way—that something was clearly wrong with me.

When I came out of sedation from my angiogram, my cardiologist held my arm and informed me that you and your partner arteries were 90% blocked and emergency quadruple bypass surgery was now on the table. As I lay there regaining consciousness, my comprehension of the situation was distorted because it was so sudden. So much so that I truly didn’t understand the impact this would have on me until several weeks into recovery, following the biggest procedure of my life.

You’ve since been replaced with healthier arteries, harvested and sewn into place from around my body. I’m taking the highest possible daily dosage of preventative medicine to keep you from clogging again. My diet has shifted even further towards whole foods and moderation. I was told that replacing you would take up to eight hours in surgery and all of this was routine. I must confess, however, that it has never felt routine to me or those closest to me.

I’m one of the fortunate souls who survived a heart attack in their mid-40s. Perhaps because of a few major health choices I made leading up to it. I will probably never know what caused you to clog so rapidly, over the course of what seems like several months, when my metabolism started shifting in the wrong direction. I wonder about what my newer coronary arteries look like. Is there anything starting to clog them? How long will they last? Will they warn me someday like their predecessors? What can I do to make certain I am making their new role as optimal as possible? Questions I ask myself a lot.

We made it a long way, clogged arteries. You worked for me even at 10% capacity. For this I owe you gratitude. My apologies for not listening to you sooner.

With love and respect,

Benjamin Thomas Wilkinson